This movie follows the story of two footballers: one whose career is over due to an injury and one whose career is yet to begin.
This film had so much potential, I mean It could have been really good, but they were too focused on irrelevant things to do justice to this story. I can’t say I liked anything in particular about this film, it was one of those films that you describe as “just there”.
In the main opening scene, Alex’s doctor said to him, “You have had two ACLs in two years,” as opposed to saying, “You have had two ACL tears in two years,” and I already knew there would be issues. You might think that’s not a big deal, but tiny details matter. How can the doctor of an international football star not know the difference between the ligaments themselves and the injury?
So what were the issues?
Like I mentioned earlier, they had a good storyline, but the delivery was really lazy and very boring. Sports movies are special and quite easy because even if you repeat all the popular clichés, people still enjoy it somehow, and this is because they inspire very strong emotions. They are always powerful; they make us cheer, laugh, cry, and even scream sometimes. You feel like you know the athletes; you are invested in their journey; their success almost feels personal, and whether you are a fan of that particular sport or not, you feel like you know a little bit more about it after the closing credits. Unfortunately, Onye Egwu the film did not inspire any or these emotion.
Even though football is a passion for many Nigerians, nothing really resonates in this film because they glossed over all the important parts that should have made an impact. For instance, Alex was supposed to be an international football star, but we did not see anything that backed up that fact—not even commentary from sports journalists and media, only the Nancy Isime show🤦🏽♀️. The conversations with his doctor and agent sounded very random too.
Nedu was supposed to be a star player, but we did not get to really experience his talent. Not one properly organized football match. Even on that tiny football pitch in the slum, they could have created something very engrossing, enough to get viewers off the couch.
For these two footballers, we did not get to experience their story on the pitch; in this movie, the pitch was just a prop.
Plot progression was not great. We should have been able to see their struggles as athletes and their triumphs. Unfortunately, there were no highlights in this film; the stakes were also very low. The time that should have been devoted to showing us the hard work, energy, passion, discipline, and commitment that define a footballer’s journey was spent on watching Broda Shaggy and other irrelevant scenes. We did not see the camaraderie, teamwork, and even the competition that define a football team. They tried to show us a little bit of rivalry between Nedu and Ini Edo’s son, but it was not strong enough, and they let go of it too easily. It also did not help that the boy himself could not play football, so he was not a worthy rival. Nobody sounded like they knew football, not even the coach. Personally, I think this film insults the sport it tries to showcase.
I don’t want to say anything about the spiritual houses Alex visited because the execution was so poor, but I’ll just mention that the whole controversy surrounding Alex and his baby mama, which led them to look for young Nedu and organize the football match, was also really weak.
Acting and casting were a major issue. Even though we saw a parade of some popular faces, there were no standout performances in this film. Zubby Michael’s performance as Alex did not do justice to the role. He just did not seem to have the right disposition or expression for the role he was playing. For someone whose career was over, he did not seem too bothered. For someone with a serious injury, he did not seem to be in any pain at all. Zubby did not attempt to own his character, and that was so disappointing. The worst scene was the press conference where he attempted to “cry.” I laughed so hard because that scene was so fake. I am surprised nobody shouted “cut, cut, cut!” while they were filming because what was that?
Kayode Ojuolape was a victim of poor directing. He barely scratched the surface with this role, and it was obvious he had more to give. The character Nedu was also poorly written. Nedu did not have a personality. They said he was an exceptional talent, but there was nothing that really validated this. I would have expected them to show us more, even if it was for five minutes, even if they had to use a stunt double, we deserved to see something to help us believe that he was indeed very skilled.
Emeka Nwagbaraocha was unconvincing as the eldest son. He tried but it just wasn’t giving maturity and head of the family; everyone could clearly see that he was supposed to be the last born of the family. Uche Jumbo’s performance was just there. Ini Edo tried with the accent. Adedimeji Lateef did not show up on set with his A-game. His performance was giving “you people did not pay me enough to give you 100%.”
I can’t mention everyone, but let me say that Broda Shaggy has become a Nollywood red flag for me. Once I see him in a film, it says a lot about what is to come in the film. Tacha should not be acting. I always thought that Williams Uchemba’s problem was the fake voice he typically used, but apparently, the man is just not a good actor because he cannot help but make you cringe.
Moving on, the setting and cinematography were not great. Also, I did not understand why they were they trying so hard to make this movie a comedy. To make matters worse, it was not even funny! There was no reason why they made us suffer through Mr. Macaroni’s church scene, Nancy Isime’s show, Broda Shaggy’s shenanigans, and Adedimeji’s tomfoolery instead of spending time to build the good story they had.
Let’s talk about the way the film ended. (Not the press conference with Zubby’s fake tears; we already agreed that the scene was a mess). I mean the part where Alex got permission to take Nedu to Europe. The question is, take him to Europe as what?
We all saw the part where they planned this whole football match, yes? This whole thing was a big scam from the beginning, it was just a ruse to garner positive sentiments from social media people. We all saw that Alex did not have any plans for Nedu, yes? So we are to believe that Alex became an agent overnight? How do you end a film without resolving such a scam? Makes you wonder if these people ever sit back to watch their films before putting it out.
Overall, Onye Egwu had a good sports story to work with, but it squandered this premise and gave us an unconvincing sports story. No heart, no display of craftsmanship, nor understanding of the sport itself, no special moments, little or no entertainment value, poor performances, poor storytelling, and poor production quality. I was disappointed.
My Rating: 4/10.
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Read the review of Something Like Gold.
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